Croc Fear

After a brief stop in McDonalds to post the last blog on their free Wi-Fi, returning and buying new shit in Kmart and Bunnings, and booking the car in for a service on Thursday, we powered out of Cairns heading towards Cape Tribulation.

The Captain Cook Highway between Cairns and Port Douglas is pretty famous for the spectacular views from the road. This is the third time we have done this drive, and it’s still pretty great.

A nice view is always enjoyable, but we almost shit ourselves with excitement when, just before Port Douglas, we spotted this bastard from the road.

She's a beauty.

There was no walking on the bridge, so we had to do a couple of passes with some great moving photography from Becky to get the photo. We’ve always wanted to see a salty in the wild, and finally we have (sorry Martin, the tiddler we saw with you wasn’t very fulfilling). This felt like a good omen for the next few days ahead. We also spotted a small (a little under 2m) one from the Daintree ferry, 2-1 to us, Torsten.

We arrived at Cape Tribulation a little around 4pm, and found that lightning really can strike the same spot twice. The campsite we had aimed to stay in was full, and just as well as it wasn’t a nice place; small, overgrown and full of kids. So we headed for a "town" called Ayton, where we heard there were spots. The ~30 km drive took just over an hour, as even with the improvements to the Bloomfield track it is still pretty slow going. When we got there it was much bigger, quieter and with better facilities...BINGO, I knew it’s always better not to plan ahead.

The next day we had a very busy schedule. After breakfast and a shower it was almost lunchtime. We drove the short distance to the local beach and went for a short walk.

 Except for the constant fear of crocs and a sea full of sharks, it’s a great spot.

As we were walking back to the car, a young hippy approached us. Apparently he’d bogged his car, a Mitsubishi Challenger, in the sand and asked if we could help. We went over to have a look and found he’d royally fucked himself. There was a small track that ran along side the beach, and he’d pulled over to enjoy the view. When he’d tried to reverse out the wheels had spun a bit, so he’d driven forward to turn around on the soft, dune sand and dug the car in up to the rear axles.

I started off by putting on my Captain Hindsight outfit and spent 5 mins telling him how he’d fucked up. I like to think people enjoy being lectured on the errors they made while still in the folds of the problem. He was totally unprepared and had no recovery gear. I had it all, but it was new and still packaged and there was no way I was getting it out for this fuckwit. We tried winching him out, but this just pulled our car towards him (I should’ve just got in the car and put my foot on the brake, but Bushman Tom is a doer not a thinker). So I lent him my spade and told him to start digging while I deflated his tyres (I wasn’t doing this to be a spiteful prick, it is to increase the area of the tyre in contact with the sand and increase traction). Becky watched on and his girlfriend sunbathed…

Now, as most of you will attest, the assumption would be that Becky is the kind, helpful one and I’m the asshole. Well, not when she’s hungry. Becky started telling me we should dump him and go have some lunch. She thought someone else could help him and besides he looked like he owned bongos. I said that’s not the British way, we were going to stay there and help him out of his predicament, of course without using any of my new gear I bought, because that’s mine and for me.

Ten minutes later he’d dug a huge hole, but we were still having no luck moving him. An old aboriginal fella drove past and suggested we use the winch to tow him through some bushes, as it was a straighter line. I was trying to avoid damaging the delicate ecosystem of the area, but I was getting tired and starting to think Becky had a point. We started winching them again, but this time I put my foot on my brake, and within no time they were out. They were very grateful, and his girlfriend offered us half a bottle of wine. I told her she could keep her herpes wine. Good deed for the day DONE!

After lunch we caught wind there was an even bigger croc just done the road, near a boat ramp.

Who's a big boy?

He was a big boy, although still not the 7m they can reach! We watched until some chaps approached him in their tinny and he slid into the water… They didn’t hang around after that, and this just made me fear the water even more.

After that we went to a waterfall, I don’t remember the name and can’t be bothered to look it up.

A waterfall

The next day we went to Cooktown, [if your interested Wikipedia can tell you more] and pottered about.

Captain Cook hated the area, so they named it after him.

The only highlight was a small frog called Freddo, who seemed to live on a chair in the botanical gardens. 

Freddo and his chair

There was also a lookout where Captain Cook himself looked out from in 1770… Fascinating stuff.

I'm not even wearing the hat for a joke

We then spent over an hour trying to book a place in Cairns for Wednesday. We’re not even sure we succeeded (we did, it's a shit hole).

When we got back to our campsite it had filled up. People had come in and had the audacity to set up near us, WANKERS. Our quiet site had filled with the horrible, grating noise of children playing. The only joy I get is when one of them falls and starts crying… that’s not right, is it? This cemented our decision not to head further north, and start heading towards the (hopefully) quieter west.

The next day we packed up and headed south into Daintree NP, and for the last night camped up in a caravan park with a wildlife “sanctuary”, still it was nice.

Snake on a tree

It rained all night so we had to pack away a wet tent, a last fuck you from Far North Queensland.

Today we’re in Cairns for a couple of nights. This means wifi, an ensuite toilet and the last “big” town business until we get to Darwin next month!

TL;DR, we went north of Cape Tribulation, helped a dickhead who got bogged, did some shit and saw some shit.