Easy come, easy go

We left the pig paedophile ring early, traumatised by how little the authorities cared. We had a busy few days ahead of us in Darwin. We had accumulated a long list of things to get done, including catching up with old friends from Brisbane Hamish and Mariana, so we were already feeling stressed about fitting it all in. First stop, Battery World, as our second battery was barely lasting a day supporting the fridge. A measly $526 later, we left with two new batteries, replacing both the main and auxiliary battery. Since I mentioned on the blog about my trainers being in good shape, despite three years of heavy use, they have started to deteriorate rapidly, so we decided a new pair of shoes is definitely needed. We looked at proper hiking boots, but after seeing the $250 price tag I decided I only needed a cheap pair of trainers. I ended up buying a pair of Adidas daps the next day for $60, but I’m yet to wear them. The biggest rip off was the walking sandals… you can stick the $175 price tag up your arse.

Anaconda weren't impressed by the homeless man trying on their sandals

After stopping at BCF, Supercheap and Bunnings, we headed for our accommodation. Becky had booked a place called Club Tropical, where drinks aren’t free, located a little way out of Darwin at Lee Point. It felt like real luxury, mainly because it wasn’t dirty or tatty, and most of all, very quiet. We didn’t take any photos of the room, because why would I. We spent the afternoon blogging and swimming in the lovely pool, before heading to the wharf for some dinner. So far Darwin was turning out OK.

I think we need a selfie stick

We dropped the car off at Kmart Automotive Darwin early the next day. We wasted an hour in Casuarina mall, a wretched hive of scum and villainy. They had a normal Kmart, so we bought some more shit, to replace the shit we’d given to charity. After getting back to the resort, we spent the afternoon blogging and playing in the deserted pool.

The simple things that entertain me

We also took a walk to Lee point beach, it was nice, I like.

It's too hot to walk, why did we leave the pool?

I had thought that Kmart Automotive Darwin closed out 4pm, as that’s the time I remembered they closed in Cairns. We took a shuttle service to Casuarina mall, getting there a little before 3:30pm so I could look at trainers and the like. Just before 4pm, I checked what time they closed and found that it was actually 5:30pm. It turns out the Kmart automotive in Cairns also shuts at 5:30pm. Becky was not happy, and you’d have thought she’d caught me porking a piglet by the way she reacted. I will admit, spending an extra hour and a half in a shitty NT mall ain’t great, especially when we could have spent it at the lovely pool of Club Tropical, but we all make mistakes. Becky was mostly angry that I always misremember times, so it’s really her fault as she knows I get this shit wrong all the time.

After walking round the mall 30 times, we finally got the car back, and we were hit with a $817 bill, for new rear brakes (pads and callipers), a minor service and an engine degrease I’d asked for so we could find the source of an oil leak. They said that after starting the car and driving it a few kms they couldn’t find the leak, so the engine degrease was a total waste of money. They pointed out where they thought it was coming from so I could check later… FUCK YOU, KMART AUTOMOTIVE DARWIN.

After picking up the car, we headed to Hamish and Mariana’s for dinner. We got to meet their new daughter, 10-month-old Luana, who was fascinated by my skinhead. They’d just got back from Brazil on Tuesday night, after a nightmare 60-hour flight, but Luana seemed very unfazed by it all. We had a lovely evening catching up, but we were all flagging by the end, them due to jet lag, us due to the 30 laps we did around Casuarina mall. I didn’t take any photos, because I forgot, so here’s one of Becky at the wharf the day before.

Space filler

I got very little sleep that night, as I stayed up trying to finish a few blogs and enjoy the luxury room. The next morning we enjoyed the last of the luxury room before the most stressful experience of shopping for groceries, fuel and window washer piping at Casuarina fucking mall. Our time in Darwin had been short, expensive, stressful, but overall fun….. however, if I ever see Casuarina mall again, I’m gonna kill.